Reno 911 on location at Furnace Creek!

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Posted by Sandy Coochie on June 01, 2004 at 17:53:57:

The red Beetle rolled into Furnace Creek Campground on Friday around 2:00. Me and She~Cackti chose space #8, as it was perfect for filling up our big-ass swimming pool in the shade. We were almost immediately greeted by DVT'er, 'justanotherdesertrat,' an interesting fellow to say the least. He had seen the writing on the car and stopped to say hello. (We had our DVT names painted on it and Viva Death Valley on the back). We spent that afternoon setting up camp, filling up our pool, we cooked an awesome dinner, had a coupla cocktails and - - then we had a visitor drop by to borrow salt. I handed the handsome gent the salt and asked if he wanted the pepper too. He says "No, sank you, juzz da sal, ma'am" and then he whips out a big bottle of Cuervo Especial and some fresh limes. Woo hoo! So that evening we had a party with some cutie-patooties from the Czech Republic. They're easy to beat at dice games fo' sho', but dang those Europeans and their little banana hammocks they run around in - Grrrr, baby. Very GrrrRRRR! I vaguely remember some sexy Elvis impersonations going on, but I digress.....

Well, next morning before we'd even had a chance to have our coffee (a crime in itself), we were surprised to see Ranger Dangle of Reno 911 pull up to our spot. (Seriously, dude, your pants is waaaaay too tight. Chicks get Cameltoe, but you got Almond Joy, guy.) Apparently, the Furnace Creek Golfcart Nazi turned us in 'cuz she saw me filling up the pool and washing my hair in the water spiggot. So anyway, Ranger Dangle says there's been a complaint of illegal water usage. He took a good long look around our camp and seemed very, very interested in the amount of liquor we had. "That sure seems like an awful lot of liquor for two people," he repeated - - - three times! Hmmmm, did he want a cocktail? Then on to the swimming pool. He asks "What is the purpose of the pool?" Huh? What does one usually do with a pool? I said "It was 105 today, it's hot, we're here for three days, we thought it would be fun." He says, "No, it was a 109 today." Oh, excuuuuuse me! Then he asks how many people have been in the pool. I'm sorry, how is that relevant? Did he want to take a dip? Whatever. Freaky. Then he turned his attention to my car. He says "San--deee Coo.....chie? What's that?" We explained that those were our Death Valley Talk names. He said he knew the site well, but wouldn't tell us what name he posts under. Hmmmph! So then he says to She~Cackti, "Who's Sandy Coochie?" She points to me. He says, "Then who are you?" She stands up real straight and very regally says "I am She~Cackti." Hahahahah! Ranger Dangle then asks "Is that your real name?" Ummm, er, shyeah! I'm sorry, but not even some fur-i-ners, or spaced out hippies would name their beautiful little blonde daughter She~Cackti. Give me a break! She looked at him in disbelief and says, "Uh, no. It's _ _ _ _ _ _." Then he gets all twitterpated and demands to see our ID's. Jebus, what a farce! After all that mess, we got to keep our pool. Neener, neener, Golfcart Nazi!

After he left, we took off and saw everything off the road down as far as the Ash-something Mill ruins. Beautiful, beautiful stuff. That evening justanotherdesertrat came back by for dinner and took us to a top-secret swimming pool hidden deep in the Panamints. It was a beautiful little oasis, and we had a blast. Thanks, jadr!

Next morning we were awoken by another visitor. It was none other than Cactus Jack!! He was on his way to work, and he'd heard through the grapevine that we were there and had already had a run in with the law! HA!!!! What a super neat guy. He invited us on a tour of his place of business, and when we got there he gave us some swell souvenirs, and excellent tips on what else we should be sure to see and do. Thanks Cactus Jack!

We went to Golden Canyon, Zabriskie, Dante's, Artist's, Devil's...we did everything but Ubehebe Crater and the Racetrack. My little beetle couldn't make it there. We saw a scorpion, Ravens, Grackles, Kangaroo Rats, Roadrunners, Coyotes, you name it. Just awesome, wonderful sights.

But everytime we were back at camp just kickin' it, Reno 911 cruised by every half hour. Got to the point where we were taking bets on it. "Okay, if he drives by again, you have to do a shot!" Hahahaha!

Our last morning as we were packing up, we noticed a little nasty-gram from the Golfcart Nazi. It was a warning about leaving out a box of graham crackers and some aluminum cans were around the pool. Geez, can you say: A-N-A-L? I thought so.

We left the campsite much cleaner than it was when we got there, and headed out. Stopped at the Porch for some refreshments and hit the road. We got home to Sacramento at 8:30 p.m.

Thanks to everyone we met for a wild, fun, interesting, beautiful trip full of mystery and intrigue! Our movie turned out really wicked funny, and I got some great pictures too. We'll be sharing some of those in the days to come. Peace. Out.

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